Words!

This week, Sydney has been saying words I never knew she knew before.  It is so entertaining listening to her try to speak her mind.  Todays word was "mouse".  Her friend Piper gave her a temporary tattoo of Mickey Mouse on her arm.  Sydney was pointing at it saying "mouse" when we got home.  It was a pleasant surprise.  She also said "cheese" many times as we had a snack the other day.  She has a little lisp so its so cute to listen to her. 

She also is getting the hang of her colors, animals, and clothing pieces.  Im always asking "whats that?" when she is looking or pointing at something.  And sometimes she surprises me with a new word, said as clear as day. 

Sydney recently named her blanky "Beebo".  "My beebo" is a frequent phrase when she reaches for it.  And she said "dody" when in the car yesterday.  Her dody is her pacifier.  My little baby is growing up so quickly!  And I am treasuring every minute possible. :)

Goodnight from a very blessed mommy.

The loss of a close friend stays with you always

Well, it has been quite the week.  Sydney has been an absolute joy.  So full of energy, a few new words, and proving how smart she is over and over.  Im so thankful I have her in my life. 

On Wednesday, I got news of the death of my good friend Michelle.  She fought a long battle with cancer and the cancer finally got her.  It was heart breaking to hear the news from her sister.  But being through the death of Sacha, I am ready to help her sister Steph through this as much as I can.  Its a terrible thing to experience.  Like me and Sacha, she and Michelle were best friends, very close. 

This week has brought back very detailed memories of losing Sacha.  The phone call from my dad telling me the news.  My call to Joel.  The week-long trip to North Dakota for her funeral.  Everything.  Sometimes reliving such memories isnt a bad thing.  But it sure does hurt the heart. 

So, tomorrow will be a rushed day.  After picking Sydney up at noon, Ill be going to Milwaukee, praying I make it to the last part of Michelles funeral.  I will have missed the visitation already.  If I miss the funeral, its okay.  Ill still appear and drop off the cards I have for the family, and the purple stuffed unicorn I received in the mail this week for Michelle.  I was planning on visiting her this weekend sometime.  The last time I saw her was at her benefit last year.  Im thankful she got to meet Sydney.  Below is a photo of them together.

Forever in my heart, Michelle will be.  I hope Sacha has welcomed her to the world of no pain, nice weather, and good people.  Sacha can show her the ropes of being a great angel.  Love you both, girls!

A Wintertime favorite

One of my favorite things to do with Sydney this Winter has been going to story time at the local libraries.  She is usually pretty attentive when a book is being read or songs are being sung.  And afterwards, there is always playtime with the other kids and various toys the libraries pull out of hiding.  Here, she is pictured with a pile of books she walked around and grabbed from other kids when they weren't looking.  Shes so silly.  :)  I hope she is learning lots, though at this age its hard to tell.  But the socialization is definately something beneficial. 

My sweet girl is back to her self. :)

Sydney has really been blossoming these last few days.  Her language skills are soaring, and her fun demeanor has fully returned after being sick two weeks ago.  She had a long 8 day case of the flu with high temperatures and lethargy.  She was feeling so yucky.  This mommy felt so bad that I couldnt do much for her, but so thankful all she wanted was for me to cuddle and soothe her.

Its amazing how something like seeing your baby with the flu makes you think twice about the next time you feel crappy.  If I now start to feel stiff and feverish, or get a sore throat, or an upset tummy, I just keep trudging through my day.  Because if I fall victim to a germ's nasty ways, Sydney will not get the care and attention she deserves.  She is my rainbow on a rainy day, my firefly on a summers night.  I adore her so much. :)

This weekend we spent an afternoon at a water park hotel with our friends.  Sydney had fun once she got used to the noise.  It was SUCH a load place.  Not really worth the price, but seeing the Carters made it worth while.  Attached is a picture of us on the "lazy river", and of her "playing" UNO with Colin.  When Morgan and Riley were eating their food, Sydney decided to steal some.  So there's a photo of Sydney caught in the act.  I'm thankful for a good camera on my phone.  :)  Lots of memories.

18 months have come and gone.

Today marks Sydney's 18 month milestone.  She is a thriving, healthy, smart, sassy, funny and energetic little girl.  I spent some time thinking of the last year and a half, and I am so blessed and lucky to have Sydney in my life.  I feel she has helped me become a better person.  With every given day, I am thankful for little things Sydney accomplishes, the big things she teaches me.  Motherhood is such an incredible journey and I cannot wait to see what each day will bring.

My pregnancy....the begining of a new life.

As a kid, I always knew I wanted to be a mom someday.  Of course, everyone wants to have a child when "the time is right", when you live in a nice home, have money to spare, and everything is hunky dory.  I am a bit of a realist and I knew that isnt how things would go.  Just looking at the world around me, I knew better.

When I became pregnant in November of 2011, I was living in a rented house with my husband and stepson.  Life was a bit bumpy at that time.  Money was tight, and there were many family frustrations.  Sacha (my sister) had died in August of 2011 so we were all trying to figure out our own path through grief.

The morning I found out I was pregnant, December 2nd at 3am to be exact, my mind was racing.  I had assumed I was for about a week already just because of some nagging feeling in my head.  I made the decision to keep my secret for a few weeks and to surprise Jason with the news on Christmas Eve.  Talk about a hard secret to keep!  I, of course, shared the news with a friend who I had promised I would tell first whenever the time came.  She was thrilled I kept my promise.  But telling just one person about a life changing event?  Thats tough!

Jason, of course, was happy with the news.  Slowly we told other family and friends.  My pregnancy progressed nicely.  I had some swelling that kicked in about half way through, and wound up with gestational diabetes needing insulin injections every night at around 32 weeks.  But otherwise, I was able to stay active until the heat wave of that summer hit in early June.  90s+ for weeks!  It was crazy.

When planning for Sydney's birth, I had a list of baby names hanging over my desk that I was constantly adding to.  Although, "Sydney" was one of the first girls name I wrote down, and it just seemed so right.  We chose to find out the sex of our little peanut, and kept that a secret until after my baby shower in June.  Then I decided to give our little girl my sisters name for her middle name.  I was sure Sacha would be watching over her, like she does with my twin nephews.

Due to my diabetes, that gave my pregnancy the title of "high risk".  My doctor was incredible every step of the way.  He and I talked candidly about things.  And I knew I would be induced no later than my due date so there would not be any issues with babys size.  Sometimes with diabetes, a baby can be quite large and moms sugars and blood pressures can be affected.

I was induced on the morning of my due date, Aug 28th.  Dr. Gonzalez gave me 3 rounds of induction medication called Misoprostol.  That took 9-10 hours.  During that time, my blood pressure started creeping up, while the medication was not successfully dialating me.  After a long day of waiting around, the decision was made at 7:30pm to do a c-section.  I was excited.  I was, of course, ready to go through natural labor, but having a c-section had always been in the back of my mind and I felt pretty prepared.

I was given an IV, a catheter, and prepped for surgery very quickly.  And by 8:40pm Sydney was born.  I will never forget that experience, the doctor and anesthesiologist involved, and the look on Jason's face as he watched.  I had to wait about 30 minutes to hold her for the first time since I had to be stitched up.  But it was nice knowing Sydney would be meeting my parents and best friend right away.

As I was wheeled down the hall back to my hospital room, I knew my life would never be the same.  And I am so thankful to be able to be a mommy, and give my nephews a cousin, my brother, his wife and my brother-in-law a niece, and my parents another grandchild.

Welcome to my journey. 

Our first kiss.

What a beautiful little girl.